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New roles for moms
Sunday, May 13, 2012
By TRISHA VAUGHAN - Bulletin Accent Writer
My mother and I have had a good life together.
This Mother’s Day will be my mom’s last with only two children and my last with only one mom. Next year, both she and I will be in-lawed.
Sometimes I have to remind myself that not everyone has the relationship that I have with Mom. My fiance and his parents don’t spontaneously burst into song (but we do!) and I have yet to see anyone have a four-hour-long discussion with their mother about the peril of being the last house in the neighborhood without solar lights in the yard (the horror!).
I remember the first time Mike (the fiance) didn’t fill my mother’s shoes. We were in the car, and he didn’t sing along with me to “New York, New York.” My mom would have jumped in and been all over it. Mike sat there, blankly, just looking at the scenery going by.
This situation usually is reversed, with the man talking about something his mother did really well that his future-wife hasn’t grasped yet. Mike does that occasionally, but I just give him the evil eye and go on.
It has been both funny and heartwarming watching my mother’s evolution from mother of her children to mother-in-law-to-be to Mike. Although she and I have a lot of quirky rituals and more than a few shared beliefs, there also is a lot in common between her and Mike.
They hang out, converse about a wide range of topics (not the least of which has to do with my shoe addiction) and even go shopping. They plan cooking projects, take day trips and even tried picking out wedding supplies. Some days, I think she loves him more than me.
He calls her “Mom” and she gushes about him whenever someone tells her they met her charming son-in-law-to-be. Those two were made for each other!
I get along very well with Mike’s mom. We share a love of cooking, jewelry and animals. We find new common interests during each visit. Mrs. Long and I have been a bit slow bonding as I don’t get to see Mike’s parents in Ohio as much as Mike gets to see my mom who lives a half an hour from him now that he lives in Martinsville instead of Newport News.
We do text each other, though, and I don’t even text my own mother—in part because she doesn’t know how, but also because she never keeps her cell phone on.
Much like my mother and I have our shared interests, Mike and his mom have theirs—and sometimes I don’t “get” them. They love sports, rock concerts and the outdoors. I have no clue what a pop fly is, the closest I get to rock concerts is my Ozzy Osbourne T-shirt, and my idea of being outdoorsy is going to sidewalk sales.
Since both Mother Vaughan and I have passed the test, on the verge of becoming in-laws, I’m confident that we will become one big, happy, sometimes-singing, family.
Mom and I can keep on with our sometimes-odd bonding behavior, and Mike and Mrs. Long can keep the baseball games.
All that’s left is to have our mothers meet.
That, my friends, will begin a whole new story.